ADULTS ONLY: Silly Things Men Do During S3x That Leads To Pregnancy
Not every pregnancy is planned. In fact, I'm inclined to believe that
so many of us came about by accidental discharge, following the way we
behave these days.
Even amongst married folks who are licensed to have S3x, we hear
horror stories of unplanned pregnancies. No wonder abortion clinics
are popping out just about everywhere. People seem not to care about
safe S3x or understand the simple meaning of contraception.
Well, I'm not here to educate you on that. You can check your local
community health care center for proper information. My job here is to
let you in on what happens when someone comes and tells you that they
got accidentally pregnant.
I will not blame the female folk today until next time. Guys are going
to get the heat for this one.
Here are 8 times men get stupid during S3x and produce an offspring.
1. "I Pull Out Before I Shoot Out'
Oshey, Lord Withdrawal! Didn't they tell you that your pre-cum has
enough sperm from your last wank session to father a child? Oh okay,
you pee in-between sessions. Nice move. But you can't honestly tell me
that there weren't a few slip-ups in all your pull out encounters. You
and I know that the sweetest part is when you offload all your goods
in the right warehouse. So stop applauding yourself for staining the
sheets. And just a little reminder, someone in the bible days died
because of this type of thing.
2. 'It's The Woman's Responsibility To Handle Contraception'
This is how so many clueless men have been lied to. She tells you
she's on the pill or that she'll pop some after and you believe and go
in without protection. This same babe will come back a month later and
tell you the pill(s) didn't work. Dude, never believe any of that
nonsense a woman says before S3x. Always have yourself locked and
loaded.
3. 'I Tear Open The Condom Package With My Teeth'
It's good to get the mouth, and sometimes even the teeth involved
during S3x but please, use your fingers to tear open the condom
package. Why? To avoid poking a hole into the condom, stupid. The only
hole you should be poking should be… never mind. The wise ones
understand what I'm talking about.
4. Putting On Or Taking Off The Condom During S3x
Okay, seriously I don't get this part. You start having S3x then
halfway, for whatever reason, you say 'oops! sorry, I forgot to use a
condom' and then you put one on. Have you heard of pre-cum? Obviously
not. Google it. Then for those of you who decide 'this condom thing is
killing my vibe' and decide to remove it halfway, please go for
quality stuff next time or learn how to wear on a condom correctly or
just get married and stay faithful mbok.
5. 'We Had S3x During Her Period'
First of all…eww! Second, don't deceive yourself. Women have and can
get pregnant during their periods. Some medical practitioners will not
agree to this but others will. It has been found that some women
ovulate when they are menstruating, so next time while dipping into
the Red Sea, be sure to use a life jacket. If you go releasing your
little swimmers with no protection, one of them is bound to swim
upstream and catch something you're not prepared for.
6. I've Had The Condom For Three Years
My dear brother, I know it's a quality brand product and probably cost
you a few hundred naira and you're saving it for prime V, or just
maybe you haven't been laid in a long time; but it's no reason for you
to leave it in your wallet until it either expires or becomes useless.
Use it when it's still good or throw it away.
7. 'I Like My Condom Tight'
And so you push your p*n*s all in to fill the condom tip. Bros, unless
your p*n*s is shaped exactly like a condom, please desist from
tightening things in there. You have to leave that space for the
spill. If you don't, the condom will break. I'm tempted to say it's
not 'rocket' science but erm…
8. 'We Had S3x While Standing'
First of all, buhahahahaha! For real? So, let me understand the logic.
You did it while standing and all of the semen spilled to the floor
and none was left in her. Hmmm… In physics, following the law of
gravity, it makes sense. But not in biology, which may have a law
somewhere that states 'what goes in, stays in'. You should know that
the v*g'i'na is one place that may not have a door but has a way of
keeping things in. Be Warned!
Basically, just don't be stupid during S3x. Protect yourself and your
woman. Use a condom.
so many of us came about by accidental discharge, following the way we
behave these days.
Even amongst married folks who are licensed to have S3x, we hear
horror stories of unplanned pregnancies. No wonder abortion clinics
are popping out just about everywhere. People seem not to care about
safe S3x or understand the simple meaning of contraception.
Well, I'm not here to educate you on that. You can check your local
community health care center for proper information. My job here is to
let you in on what happens when someone comes and tells you that they
got accidentally pregnant.
I will not blame the female folk today until next time. Guys are going
to get the heat for this one.
Here are 8 times men get stupid during S3x and produce an offspring.
1. "I Pull Out Before I Shoot Out'
Oshey, Lord Withdrawal! Didn't they tell you that your pre-cum has
enough sperm from your last wank session to father a child? Oh okay,
you pee in-between sessions. Nice move. But you can't honestly tell me
that there weren't a few slip-ups in all your pull out encounters. You
and I know that the sweetest part is when you offload all your goods
in the right warehouse. So stop applauding yourself for staining the
sheets. And just a little reminder, someone in the bible days died
because of this type of thing.
2. 'It's The Woman's Responsibility To Handle Contraception'
This is how so many clueless men have been lied to. She tells you
she's on the pill or that she'll pop some after and you believe and go
in without protection. This same babe will come back a month later and
tell you the pill(s) didn't work. Dude, never believe any of that
nonsense a woman says before S3x. Always have yourself locked and
loaded.
3. 'I Tear Open The Condom Package With My Teeth'
It's good to get the mouth, and sometimes even the teeth involved
during S3x but please, use your fingers to tear open the condom
package. Why? To avoid poking a hole into the condom, stupid. The only
hole you should be poking should be… never mind. The wise ones
understand what I'm talking about.
4. Putting On Or Taking Off The Condom During S3x
Okay, seriously I don't get this part. You start having S3x then
halfway, for whatever reason, you say 'oops! sorry, I forgot to use a
condom' and then you put one on. Have you heard of pre-cum? Obviously
not. Google it. Then for those of you who decide 'this condom thing is
killing my vibe' and decide to remove it halfway, please go for
quality stuff next time or learn how to wear on a condom correctly or
just get married and stay faithful mbok.
5. 'We Had S3x During Her Period'
First of all…eww! Second, don't deceive yourself. Women have and can
get pregnant during their periods. Some medical practitioners will not
agree to this but others will. It has been found that some women
ovulate when they are menstruating, so next time while dipping into
the Red Sea, be sure to use a life jacket. If you go releasing your
little swimmers with no protection, one of them is bound to swim
upstream and catch something you're not prepared for.
6. I've Had The Condom For Three Years
My dear brother, I know it's a quality brand product and probably cost
you a few hundred naira and you're saving it for prime V, or just
maybe you haven't been laid in a long time; but it's no reason for you
to leave it in your wallet until it either expires or becomes useless.
Use it when it's still good or throw it away.
7. 'I Like My Condom Tight'
And so you push your p*n*s all in to fill the condom tip. Bros, unless
your p*n*s is shaped exactly like a condom, please desist from
tightening things in there. You have to leave that space for the
spill. If you don't, the condom will break. I'm tempted to say it's
not 'rocket' science but erm…
8. 'We Had S3x While Standing'
First of all, buhahahahaha! For real? So, let me understand the logic.
You did it while standing and all of the semen spilled to the floor
and none was left in her. Hmmm… In physics, following the law of
gravity, it makes sense. But not in biology, which may have a law
somewhere that states 'what goes in, stays in'. You should know that
the v*g'i'na is one place that may not have a door but has a way of
keeping things in. Be Warned!
Basically, just don't be stupid during S3x. Protect yourself and your
woman. Use a condom.
Comments
Post a Comment