The Trouble with Premarital Sex

Sex is such an innocent sounding word – three letters with far reaching consequences. A wise man once said of sex, "Sex to a man is like a hungry man walking into a Mr. Biggs outlet for lunch, what is his business with who cooked the food?" Therein lies the trouble, a healthy male animal wakes up with an erection and sees nothing wrong with finding a ready female to assuage his desire. So while the lady thinks she is in love, and in a relationship with a future, the guy is only having fun. To the ladies, at the risk of sounding like I'm preaching a sermon, having sex with a man you are not married to is such a big risk. Even when he says he loves you, he might or he might not. And can take the age old tack of telling a woman what she wants to hear to get what he wants from her. This is why many Romeos run away from or deny their Juliets when pregnancy shows up. The first time I got this insight was in a conversation with an older colleague who was gisting about sowing his wild oats as a young man. Even though he had met his wife, and had decided to marry her, he had this side chick that used to spend the weekend at his bachelor pad, his wife on the other hand never passed the night. She only visited on Sundays after church, because her work schedule made it impossible for her to visit during the week. Meanwhile the other babe arrived on Friday after work, and left early Sunday morning. After months of sleepovers, the side chick asked bros where the relationship was heading, and he said he was not ready for any commitment, not long after she stopped visiting, and he went on to marry his wife. So I asked him why he was sleeping with the other chick when he had no intention of marrying her, and he said, "When she was giving me the thing to chop nko?" I really don't want to go into the rights and wrongs of such a relationship, but I wonder if the side chick could have saved herself the heartache if she had simply kept her legs tightly closed. Sexologist and researcher; Fernando Enriques in his book, Modern Sexuality says that the male sexual appetite has remained mainly promiscuous even in societies that has forced monogamy on men. He posits, "The male sexual urge has retained its strongly promiscuous, if not polygamous nature." That could be the reason why the exigencies of modern life that has delayed marriage until into the twenties, thirties, and even beyond means that men have to find a way to slake their thirst by any means possible, even if the experiment leads to unwanted pregnancies, abortions, or STDs. The sad thing is that while the men who do this are hailed as studs, their female counterparts are seen to be tarts. There can never be equality in such matters. Many men look down on their female conquests, and see nothing wrong with moving on to the next available female. For the female folk, I say there is nothing wrong with deciding to be a plaything, if that is what you want, if not, you might want to rethink your choices, and lifestyle.